i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
