? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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