Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
