And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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