She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
