Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
