I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
