i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
