john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Terrible idea I love it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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