I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
