Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
