1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
