I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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