you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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