I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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