I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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