I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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