So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
