drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
