I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
