spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
