i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
