I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
