just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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