She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
