you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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