there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
