i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
