Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize