I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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