and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
