Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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