i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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