She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
