we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
