no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
