Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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