Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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