Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Terrible idea I love it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
