Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
