Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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