Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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