i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
