So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
