Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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