I didn't shave. On purpose
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
