Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
