Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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