I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
