You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
