What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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