I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
