i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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