there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
