Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
