i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
