I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize