Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
