I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
