..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
