She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
