i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
