hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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