don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
how drunk are you?
Several
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
