I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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