Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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