it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I AM VODKA MAN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
