you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
