is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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