Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize