Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This is not my ceiling
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
