he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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