seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
