if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
