Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
