He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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