Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
