Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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