Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
