I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just high enough for therapy.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
