Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
